Potty Training insanity

My two and a half year old son has been potty training for months. I began the process without a dogmatic approach in mind. I decided to approach the process rationally by talking him through it! That made perfect sense to me since Fox (son) listens and comprehends what I say, and although I don't remember myself, I imagine a diaper feels god-awful. After the first suggestion of using a toilet instead his pants Fox would certainly be converted, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. I have make that suggestion every six minutes of waking hours since the beginning of January and Fox continues to whine about the potty.
Last Christmas Fox was dazzled by the gift of a plastic potty chair and it instantly became his favorite toy. It functioned as a Hot Wheels car holder, a water toy and a step stool. He was still too young to comprehend complexities such as urination and zipper-fly pants, so we held off on our encouragements till his second birthday. At this point in time Fox was obsessed with the bathroom and insisted on taking his dirty diapers to the diaper bin himself. The toilet was like a mysterious gateway to another land which made things disappear with it's magical waterfall. Hours would elapse as Fox transfered water from the bath tub into the toilet with the care and determination of a nuclear chemist. We talked about the toilet extensively, and I'm pretty confident that Fox could explain our modern metro sewer system better than most adults.
This seemed like the perfect time to reintroduce the potty chair as a functioning fixture of daily life.
I removed his diaper and set him on the plastic seat, explaining that he should try to pee-pee and poop in the potty instead of his diaper, and the pay-off was that he could carry the urine and crap into the bathroom and dump it into the big toilet. As soon as I had said it I realized how ridiculous it sounded; "Pee and poop in this bowl so we can go dump it into another bowl??" Great!
Fox looked at me like I was crazy, then focused on trying to go. He managed to leave a tablespoon or so of pee in the bowl which he promptly took to the bathroom to dump.
The allure wore off too soon, and Fox became complacent about the diaper situation. I needed a better bribe!
My sister in law came to visit us and brought a bag of candies to distribute. Instead of sharing with Fox we decided to put the bag of Gummi Bears into a mason jar and leave them on the mantle where he could see them. I told Fox that he could have one every time he used the potty, and that they were so delicious that a cartoon was created in their celebration. Before having a child I would have thought that bribery with candy was a horrible notion, both nutritionally and psychologically unhealthy. Now however, I realize that the entire parenting process can potentially be hazardous to your health and it is all about balance. Sometimes children remember the entire alphabet and count to ten, and sometimes they break a dozen eggs inside the fridge so they run down underneath the crisper drawers. Sometimes I reward my child with a trip to the bird sanctuary and a bag of stale bread to toss, and sometimes I give him sugary treats.
Seeing those Gummi Bears on the mantle is a constant reminder to Fox. The first day he mostly screamed and pointed at it, crying, but after using the potty chair and being rewarded with their tart, gummi-goodness, the jar became a thrilling part of his day.
After becoming more involved with the potty chair I realized that there was a battery compartment we hadn't noticed before. I found some batteries and now there are flashing lights and silly jingles to accompany this whole process. I know the entire dammed toilet paper song by heart.