11/17/2007 South Knox Big Lots

Thursday Fox and I went to Big Lots and as soon as we walked in we could hear someone coughing in that way that makes it clear that they smoke at least a pack of Marlboro Reds each day. Restrained in the baby seat of the cart, Fox and I progressed towards the cleaning supplies at the back of the store and the coughing persisted. Fox (16 months old) had noticed the coughing racquet and was looking in all directions to see what the hell it was. After rounding the corner we were about four cart-lengths away from the coughing man. He looked tired and unshaven with a beer belly and I think he was buying a plunger. As we approached, the poor guy had another hack attack which required him to stop and find his bandanna to spit in. Right when we were side by side with the coughing man Fox started squealing and laughing and doing his cough imitation; it sort of sounds like he is hyperventilating while trying to clear his throat, except that he is smiling and it ends with giggling and screams of delight. He thinks it is so funny when people cough, sneeze or clear their throat. Fox was thrilled to see this guy up close and coughing, and all of the other patrons were staring at Fox in uncomfortable confusion; torn between their desire to shower him with attention for being so cute and discipline him for his devious behavior. I picked up the pace and distracted Fox by trying to explain "situational appropriateness", but couldn't contain myelf! Uncontrollable laughter overpowered me so I quickly turned the corner and opened the flood gates. When I looked up I realized there was a young, clean cut guy dressed in hospital scrubs standing in front of me with a shocked look on his face. He had been opening every bottle of detergent and comparing the scents when I turned the corner, blinded by my own laughter. He hurried away with whatever brand he had in his hand at the time, reminded why he usually shopped the other Big Lots locations.
You can't discipline a 16 month old, so all you can do is hope that their cluelessness is amusing to others.