4/10/2008 Killer Shower

The other weekend Jason, Fox and I went to a baby shower in Monroe, North Carolina, just outside of Charlotte. The place belonged to his college friend Jerome's family, and he and his brother had remodeled the family barns into their houses. Living in the barn: It is the cool thing to do. But really, Jerome's barn is palatial compared to 40 Houser Road; huge machines were able to park inside of his barn and the post and beam truss construction towered fifteen feet above the second story level.
Anyway,
The baby shower was an afternoon affair, and the weather forecast affirmed an outdoor dining area, so no one brought jackets and everyone was a little bit pissed at themselves for buying the "70 degrees and sunshine in March" crap. Meaning: it was COLD, and WINDY. Plus it was spitting rain and the sun never broke through the overcast ceiling. The hay ride was cancelled.
The beginning of the party consisted of my chasing Fox around the pond in an attempt to deter the anxiety I inevitably experience in situations like that, and thankfully when I snuck back into the party Gravy Donger and Jenny were there.
When we first arrived at Jerome's house I had noticed that the entire ground floor was a bar. Not like "bar theme", but an actual bar you would walk into from a small town city street. The only thing that separated Jerome's bar from an actual bar were the politically incorrect wall hangings and effects peppered among the equipment. Felt top poker table, CHECK. Big screen TV, CHECK. Domestic beer on tap, CHECK. Mirrored beer adverts, CHECK. Stars-n-bars, CHECK. I was really impressed and I longed to spend time perched atop a stool from the second I laid eyes on it.
The party continued with the usual rigamarole: presents being opened by the mom to be surrounded by a mass of ooohs and aahhs. I somehow avoided that ritual and experienced it only in passing through the living room into the restroom to change Fox or to rinse the residue from betwixt his little fingers.
Soon afterwards the nicer vehicles began leaving the premises and I found myself surrounded by people my age. Fox became tired and I cuddled him until he was all woozy, then placed him into his "Pack-n-Play" porta-bed, (no play, just pack). When he was fast asleep I returned to the party in the basement bar and found things as I had left them, but drunker.
Ever since Fox was born I have lost my drive to party into the early hours. As entertaining and exciting as it might seem, after a few minutes of projection into the future the idea becomes as tired as I am. It's one thing if Fox is sleeping at one of his grandparent's houses and will be proceeded in waking with bacon, eggs, and apple juice, but to be at a total stranger's house in a strange room is different. I could be convinced to stay up an extra hour if I knew that my or Jason's mom would be there to wake up with Fox, but I am too old to do both.
Back downstairs in the bar the noise level had risen, and people were taking shots of tequila on command. There was talk of going to a neighborhood speakeasy and eventually half of the crowd adjourned. One guy tried to convince me to go, and I had to really break it down for him. "I will not set my child down to bed in the house of a pregnant woman who I had never met until today, and then, shrouded in darkness, leave him to go to a bar to hang out with people who I do not know." I had to defend my case a few times before it was accepted, and finally the crowd diminished.
I retired at midnight, unable to maintain the game face needed to fuel the party atmosphere, but not before the "bar-goers" had returned. They were real drunk and talking crazy. I slipped away without notice.
The next morning I awoke to silence; Jason had taken Fox into the living room when he woke and acquainted him with his college pals. I joined them and finally had the opportunity to speak to Elizabeth, the mom-to-be. She seemed ready to have the baby and was clearly tired of her pregnant state; she had done tons of work preparing their house by setting up the cutest nursery I had ever seen. When Fox was due all we did was vacuum, and I told her that. She told me about the renovation of the barn and how dusty it was for the first few months. She said they had purchased a "Rainbow" vacuum cleaner after a particularly moving display of it's powers. She showed it to me and so many questions were answered about the machine. Essentially it is a two thousand dollar water bong for your carpet. Worth every penny when you see how dirty the water is afterwards!
After noon we began our trip back to Knoxville through the budding Saluda Gorge, and then through the Smokies. It was such a beautiful, early spring weekend for such a kick-ass baby shower.