8/29/2008 Assault, Dissoultion, retreat

The night before last Jason and his friends were having practice in our back room in preparation for a wedding gig this weekend when Lee's lumbering frame appeared in the back door jamb. Our back room is perpetually under construction and the back door leading outside from this forbidden room is crumbling and totally unsafe for passage. But there he was with a mason jar of moonshine in one hand and a one hitter in the other. The song came to a close, and Lee offered his usual verbal greeting, then his substance offering of pot and booze. Some obliged and some didn't, and then he turned to me and screamed a birthday wish at me, then shoved a mysterious quart-sized jar of a brownish liquid in my hand. I thanked him and asked how he was doing, and he proceeded to pass around a People magazine opened to an ad for Oral-B toddler toothpaste with a Thomas the Train motif.

As I examined the picture Lee victoriously told me that that was "one uh his boys by that girl", and explained that "sheeze got em a workin for thu toothpastes company AN for that puppet-train company, too so eeze a-gettin paid two times!"

I choked back an infinite geyser of laughter and snide comments and said, "Cute! I think he has your brow"

Lee said "WELL HELL YEAH he does! He looks jus like me when I wuz that size! Ain't he clean?! That woman sure keeps em clean. I LIKE that."

Again, I held back my inner jerk and commented on the child's cleanliness, unsure of how long I was going to be able to maintain the charade.

This Lee/Jill dialog, by the way, was at full, party time volume, and Lee was gesturing and engaging the others by passing the magazine around, fishing for affirmation which no one else was giving. This situation comes rather frequently, I have noticed. Me and Lee. Somehow I am there listening to his stories about test tube babies, beating up the president, lassoing a jet and riding it to the moon etc... And I am forced by my own social structure to respond! I can't just stand there. I can't ignore him! I can't change the subject! It is like I am imprisoned by thick walls of lies reinforced by more lies. I find myself immersed in Lee's fantasy to an uncomfortable degree.

So Lee was demanding total attention of every person in the room, and when they started practicing again, Lee started talking louder. Jason's cousin Jon left, and as soon as he did I picked up the bass and began playing just to remove myself from the "Lee camp".

He persisted by standing in between everyone and talking, holding the magazine in front of everyone's faces, and trying to lure them individually with topics Lee knew would interest them. It was god-awful. Somehow I elevated myself to a far away place and drowned out the sound of his voice with my own god-awful bass picking.

I finally opened my eyes to see that Lee had leaned the magazine ad on the window sill and was in a lunge formation with his face nearly touching the page. He was like that for at least 30 seconds.

Soon afterwards he left, presumably because no one wanted to listen to him talking about somebody else's baby in a magazine ad. It was awful.

The other day my friend Audry came over to pick me up and Lee intersected us at the mailbox, and started talking about his desire to "get outta here an do sum travilin!"

Already in the car and buckled in, I said "That's a good idea, Lee. There's no reason why you shouldn't travel since you live alone. I would if I were you."

Then Lee said "Hell Jill, I can't take you too. I mean, you're married an you got that kid an all! I can't take you with me! You're cute an all but I jus can't!"

He walked backwards towards his house with a pained look on his face, maintaining semi-eye contact and mumbling. As soon as we pulled out Audry started with the questions.