1/24/2008 Marlboro Man cont.

A couple of days ago I was outside working and Lee came around the side of the house to visit. He tossed me a tangerine and started telling me about his plans to build a dining table for his house and how he was scavenging around for lumber.

We chatted about designs and materials and I showed him some stuff he could haul off if he needed it, and then he started telling me about his bike creation, The Lee Rider. Up until this point I had only heard about the Lee Rider through Jason and our friends who were privy to witness it's display that fateful night and I was anxious to separate fact from fiction.

After describing the inherent flaw with the clutch and pointing it out in a picture he happened to have in his pocket, Lee said that he would like to build some sort of decorative shell for the motor. Immediately I expelled the question "...so can you ride it over here?"

"No" he chuckled, "I'm too big for that thing", he explained. "What I need is a little kid to ride it around and see how it does. You know, like an eight year old or someone around 75 or 80 pounds. I built it so high off the ground cause I thought a kid would ride it and since it's so high if a car were to hit it the kid would bounce up onto the hood, NOT go under the tires. I was thinkin' that was a safety measure for kids", he concluded.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or send out a bulletin to all children under 100 pounds that if they were offered a free motorbike, the offer WAS too good to be true and not to take it. Maybe he understands that kids have spongy, resillant bones and that a collision is inevidable.

I asked a few more questions about the bike and got no insight as to why a man (without kids I assume) would build a bike like that. Lee said never mind about the lumber and rambled back towards his house.

The tangerine was the good, non-poisonous kind.

A few days later Jason's parents came to visit. Lee came by when Jason was gone and Terry answered the door. Anyone who knows her can appreciate this juxtaposition of opposites. There are one million universes in between Terry and Lee. I would bet that they have nothing at all in common.

Lee asked if Jason was home just like a little kid and Terry (just like a mom) said "No Jason's not here right now but i'll tell him you called". When she closed the door (and locked it) and turned around the look on her face was priceless! She said "Now Jill, you're gonna have to watch that one".

I told her she was on to something.