3/12/2008 Funny Men

Here are a few hilarious statements I overheard today while working at a local television studio. The entire crew was laid off last month and given their termination date. They all plan on striking Monday and I believe they no longer give a damn.

1. Two guys were talking, the older one on a scissor lift about 15 feet up, the other on the floor trying to tell him how he should change the light rig from what he had just finished doing to it.
YOUNGER GUY ON FLOOR WITH CLIPBOARD:
(nervously laughing) "Ya know, it will be easier if you lower the rig and loosen it before you try to mount the...(blah blah blah...)"
OLDER GUY ON LIFT:
(loudly, to the point of yelling) "MAN, I WAS USING MACHINES LIKE THESE BEFORE YOUR MOM WAS EVEN WEARING A TRAINING BRA SO SHUT UP"

2. One younger guy was telling a mixed group of guys about a past job he had done; trying to convey the scope and magnitude of the job.
GUY:
(gesturing wildly) "IT WAS CRAZY! I was working. like 80 hour weeks for two months straight! I couldn’t do that now-a-days. That was back in nineteen....(?).... back in nineteen something."

Nineteen what? 1990s? 1980s? You can’t narrow it down any more than the century??



3. My boss was introducing me to an old friend of his.
BOSS:
"Jill, I’d like you to meet an old friend of mine who I have known for decades"
FRIEND:
"Yeah- me and Ralph first met on a job teaching God how to make rocks look naturalistic"

4. Two tech guys were arguing about a bad plumbing job done in the studio.
GUY 1:
"GODDAMMIT! I’ve never seen a shittier job than that. Are those assholes blind?"
GUY 2:
"Don’t ask me. You hired them"
GUY 1:
"I wouldn’t hire those guys to plumb my dog!"

Wasn’t sure what that meant except that they were really bad plumbers.

Listening to job site banter is a sweet hymn to my ears. Foul-mouthed old men trying like hell to offend one another, young men straining to establish themselves as baddest to the bone, and project managers managing to spend all day on their cellular phones with furrowed brows (except for during their hour breakfast breaks, hour lunch breaks, and 15-30 minute bathroom breaks... )
With the air laden with obscenities, personal attacks and indignation I can be at peace knowing, deep down, that I am where I’m meant to be.