We had gone to Asheville for Heather's shower and when we returned to Knoxville Sunday afternoon, we quickly unloaded our truck and grabbed a few things for Fox, then headed up the street to Dan and Adrenne's for supper. As soon as we got outside ready to depart, Lee was standing there, already talking and gesturing wildly. He was drunk. It was 6:15pm. Lee wanted to talk to Fox (who he addresses as "Red Rider"), talk to Jason about "the game", and ask us why we didn't tell him we were leaving town for the weekend. He insisted that he needed to know if we were going to be gone so he doesn't worry that we're "dead in there" or something.
After a million quick answers and replies to his questions, we started up the road. Just when we were home free, Lee hollered "Hay man Jason gimme a col'beer fore yuh go". Jason lamented that he had none, and I offered him a half bottle of Australian wine I was taking to Dan and Adrienne's. He accepted it and retreated back into his house.
The next morning I went outside to put some mail in the box and found the wine, along with a pan of biscuits with jam and a note on my porch. Knowing it was going to be hilarious I took the items back into my house before I read the note.
This is what the note says if you cannot read it:
" Jill- Nebor [smiley face smoking cigarette] (red-ride'r)
&Gosh! I schould'nt of got'on, your dinner wine & I was buszzed, when you'all came-n-an, Jason kame by & sorry I guess moonshine make's us stuped. Try a bisket, butter, appel gelly.
Craz'neabor
Rainbow
warrior! "
The biscuits were in a pan wrapped in a clean dish towel and there was a perfectly square pat of butter placed in the center of each round. The jelly was in a nice little jar like the kind you find at the farmers market. I was impressed because the biscuits were absolutely perfect, just like my GG used to make. Fox and I ate them for lunch with some soup I had fixed the night before.
We went over to thank Lee later that afternoon and we found him hard at work duct taping zip-lock baggies full of water to the top of his door jamb. Afraid to ask, I started out by thanking Lee for the biscuits and explaining to him that he didn't have to feel bad or apologize for the night before, and that we like sharing with him as much as he likes sharing with us.
He said "Hell! I know! Yall er good ole neighbors and I preciate'chall, but I shouldn't uh come up ere askin yall for booze when I was already drunk off moonshine. I'd been drinkin it all day long!"
Certain of that fact, I thanked him for the delicious biscuits and told him that they were just like my great grandma made, and he yelled "she put beer in em too?!".
I was making my way back to my house when Lee decided to explain the operation which occupied him.
"I wuz down in Florida with a friend an we went to one uh these open pit seafood joints that cooked over a fire pit. There weren't no walls or nothin; it wuz just a shelter with a roof an we noticed all these bags a water hangin from the beams an we asked what they wuz for and they said it wuz to keep the flies out. There wudn't a fly or mosquito in that place! Not one!"
I asked him how it worked and he said "It's somethin bout their eyes. They get close to these bags a water and it makes em go crazy".
Later that week Jason's folks came and spent the night with us, and Jason and I went on a walk after Fox went to sleep. Lee spotted us and hollered for us to come over, so we went into the little house and chatted. Lee said a friend of his had left town and given him some steaks, so he gave us a big bag of frozen meat.
I looked around and noticed that there were at least 10 flies in the house. Maybe they were already in the house when he taped up those baggies and were unable to go out.
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Howdy, I went to a Sonic Drive Inn in Eden NC and they had baggies full of water hanging on the posts for the same reason. don't know if it worked, have often thought of trying it myself to distract the flies coming in for all the dog poop...
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